We, who are swingers, have made sincerity the cornerstone of our relationship.

FOREWORD: I mention “couple” in the sense of a two-way relationship only for convenience in writing the article. Always remember that there are different forms of relationships, the binary one being only one of many.

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Life as a couple is based on mutual love but also on compromise, agreement, and a promise to maintain a constructive alliance. This promise must be fulfilled through communication. A happy, close-knit couple communicates openly. These 5 practical tips can be a useful outline for couple communication set on a solid foundation.

1. Choose a quiet place

Asserting that communication is essential for the maintenance of the couple, choose a time of calm and relaxation. Avoid talking in a hurry while washing dishes or while listening to children. I am well aware that it is not easy because the rhythms of the day are always hectic. Who feels like having a conversation when the children are finally asleep and I can lie down on the couch or pass out in bed? You have to get the urge because communication takes priority over everything. The habit of conversation will make it easier and more natural to deal with thorny arguments such as anything sexual. Discussing issues that purely concern the couple is the most difficult stumbling block.

2. Choose what to say

Couple’s conversation must be quality. Venting to tell you about work problems is another thing, that you can do between bites, and you are also free to listen partially pretending to understand all the passages (just kidding).

When communicating for your couple you need to take care of the good intentions to keep the initial agreement (remember?) that is: the promise to work every day to nurture the couple. So determine well what you have special to say to each other, the arguments are many, and they can also be light as long as they are useful to the couple.

3. Listen to yourself

Don’t pretend like when you are at the table. In your family, communication must come first. So when the other person speaks, really listen to him or her, because his or her opinions, even if you don’t like them, are the key to understanding what you really don’t like, and with that key each of you will begin to create the solution to the problems, starting from the different points of view.

If you have a tendency, like me, to talk a lot, give yourself a timing. Finish one concept and before moving right on to the next one, wait until there is an intervention on the other side. Everyone has different timings both in exposition and in assimilating the concepts heard. It takes calm and patience but it is important that everyone has their own space. On the other hand, if, on the other hand, you are prone to muteness, take courage and speak up! You are rowing in the same direction and everyone must take responsibility.

Fausto and I are diametrically opposed in this: he takes time to express a concept, I am definitely more concise and direct. This difference creates tensions precisely because I do not give him the time he needs to formulate his opinions. So I have to strive to improve, and if I do it, you try it too.

4. Honesty

Being loyal partners is a duty and should come naturally, but let’s face it: some people are not prepared to be one, perhaps because of the circumstances they are experiencing or perhaps because they are in the wrong place with the wrong person. The fact remains that if you fall into the circle (very large alas) of people who lie, cheat or would just like to escape, you MUST SAY IT. It would be foolish, dangerous and naive to try to keep a couple together when the basis is lies, malaise and betrayal.

Do mistakes happen? Okay, so deal with them, at the cost of raising one’s voice and even arguing. Honesty first and foremost. Always better to talk about a problem before it becomes an overwhelming and unbearable burden.

We, who are swingers, have made sincerity the cornerstone of our relationship. Honesty is the root on which our relationship grows. And how is it achieved? Communicating. Is it easy? No, but the resulting serenity is priceless and makes our love grow by leaps and bounds. I don’t want to sound utopian or cheesy…but it is the truth.

5 Ask, whenever you do not understand.

“He should know” or “He should understand” are not justifications that relieve you of the responsibility of cheating or abandoning your partner. To be offended because the other person does not intuit what we do not say is an absurd paradox, and it is wrong.

For proper communication we should always understand what we are saying and what the other person is trying to say. So if you don’t understand, ask for a better explanation. Said so, it seems obvious but it is not. Misunderstanding and misunderstanding can have serious consequences. Suffice it to say that there are people who have been left behind and can’t even say the cause because they didn’t really understand it….

Besides, there is a way and a way of saying things, here I’m going to get into it. Ask to understand, not to accuse. Using abrupt tones or sneaky phrases is not a good approach. Here, too, we need to do a great deal of work on ourselves.

I am very direct and not very patient so I often use annoyed and irritated tones from lost patience. Is it good to hear yourself talk like this? It makes the desire for dialogue go away. So: work on it.

Conclusions: planning couple communication

Communication is the priority; it is essential and must be done every day. Therefore, you need to be practical and carve out time to talk daily. Quantifying it becomes difficult but at least 15/30 do we deserve it? Do not use the excuse of chores, children and whatnot because, as I said at the beginning, dialogue is the basis of the relationship so it cannot be neglected. Polishing a floor will not make you as serene as a nice confrontation with your partner; children may have a perfectly organized day and all the games in the world, but what will really make them serene is the air they breathe in the house.

Last, but not least of course: carve out at least one meeting a week just for you, to experience and nurture your love. Do.

A warm embrace from your Libertine Queen
Mine