The first time I did full exchange

Watching your partner fuck another woman before your eyes for the first time is not exactly easy, even if we are swingers. Because it’s one thing to talk about it, it’s another to experience it in your own skin.

I tell you about the time I bitterly regretted pushing my boyfriend between another woman’s legs. Lesson learned: fulfill all your fantasies, but do it when you are really ready. Since that distant evening in Ibiza, my fiancé and I have grown so much as a couple. Today I smile thinking back to the anger I felt then.

The club

Ibiza is great, and we couldn’t miss at least one night at a swingers’ club. Expectations were not high because when you go abroad it is always an unknown. Instead we were pleasantly surprised: fairly large location, the ground floor had the dance floor with a raised cage on a cube, the bar with a long counter and stools. On the second floor, on the other hand, were the rooms whose decor I honestly don’t remember very well, perhaps because it was very dark. I remember that the room where we secluded had a large round bed and a small bathroom, more I don’t know.

The prey

Why do clubs always have shitty drinks? I remember I was drinking an obscene sparkling wine and I caught sight of her, the blonde at the counter. Married couple, polite and classy, very well dressed, light years away from the tacky vulgarity that often fills these kinds of venues. Reason why (I open and close the parenthesis) we moved further and further away from the Clubs and founded Libertine Queen.

He about 45 she 35, from northern Europe. Natural blonde short haircut, big blue eyes, very white teeth, thin and petite as I like. The funny thing is that at first she was “normal” quiet, then at some point she started dancing and undressing in the middle of the dance floor, alone. The three of us were spectators. I would have liked to join her but did not.

I have often in the past, and still do, hesitate. I am not that kind of girl who goes straight for the goal, rather I go around it and wait. I hang around waiting for I don’t really know what and almost always get screwed, because of course in this world it’s not like you expect the written invitation, “Do you want to fuck me?” There is no such thing as the courtship part (or at least not as ordinary mortals understand it) especially when you are in a Club. The “first come, first served” rule applies here.

I remember very well the anger at seeing her dancing with another girl who rightly joined the performance without waiting for a written invitation (as I did). They entered the cage and started dancing in a very sensual way with their breasts exposed, the other girl was from Madrid had huge, fake boobs. While they were grooving to the notes of Beyoncé Drunk in Love (a song of extreme sensuality that I recommend for hot moments) I was standing there looking at them pissed off black, envious, and motionless. I was drinking my cheap sparkling wine and gnawing but at the same time I was mesmerized by that scene, pure eroticism. You may wonder why I didn’t join them but I can’t give you a real answer, I just know that I couldn’t move a muscle or even take my eyes off those bodies.

The plunge

Then the dance ended, the big boob went back to where she came from, and the four of us went into a room. I was almost amazed that in the end it was me and my boyfriend following them into the private room, my boyfriend would say, “Are you crazy? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?”

I really liked that woman and I liked the transformation I had witnessed: from a quiet little person to a wild pig. Initially we played us girls and everything was going great, kissing tongues, caressing…then I don’t know what the fuck went through my head and to her question “Can we exchange?” I answered “Yes!”

WHEREAS, never, not once, did my boyfriend push me to do the full exchange. We had never felt the need even though we always said, “We don’t rule anything out.” Which is really our motto: we never preclude anything. What will happen will be seen only at the end of the evening. I was actually looking forward to that thrill. I was curious to see my boyfriend with someone else. Probably though, I wasn’t ready for it yet. Or maybe you are never really ready, and rightly so. It is like jumping off a 20-foot cliff, there is never the right time to do it, you are never really ready. You simply seize the moment when fear steps aside to give way to courage. So you jump into the void and when you plunge into the water you have a very small shock (I never trust anyone who says “jump it’s hot!”). Then you surface, it’s all gone in a flash, and you feel surprisingly good. So good that you can’t wait to do it again right away. The chemistry has done its job, the adrenaline is flowing, and it gets the better of everything.

My reaction

The experience didn’t excite me at all, but not only that…it really blew my mind. I wanted that heartbreak to end immediately, to break away immediately. The idea that my boyfriend could enjoy with a body that is not mine or that a stranger could enjoy the penis that belongs to me infuriated me. No, that’s not it, I told myself. Having finished the game, I couldn’t wait to go home. At that point we realized that the place had emptied and was closing, I think it was 5:00 a.m.

Back home I made my little plans and we discussed what had happened, what I had wanted to happen. No one was at fault outside of me. That then “blame” is precisely the wrong term in this context. I swore it would never happen again. Four months later then it happened again ahahah!

As I said at the beginning, our approach to the libertine world has evolved quite a bit over the years changing for the better. Now we have refined tastes and choices, starting from the place to have fun to the people to surround ourselves with.

Have we seen them again?

If I had been told that night that I would see this couple again, I would never have believed it. And instead I’m going to go just like that, thanks to my fiancé who is great at these things and always keeps all the contacts. Just last year, many years later, there was an opportunity to invite them to a party of ours here in Italy, and they, very nice, came.

I found her to have gained a little weight but still in great shape. Unfortunately, however, all the charm that had bewitched me then was now gone. In my eyes there was only a blond, witty, and polite woman.

Seeing her again still made me happy and I thought back to Ibiza with a smile (okay well too easy, Ibiza is the home of good humor).

Instead, in February this year they were the ones who invited us. On the occasion of Valentine’s Day, they had a little party at home, and it was a beautiful weekend. Great food, great company, fantastic hospitality and wonderful house.

I’m glad that some kind of friendship has remained between the four of us. After all, they marked a turning point in our partnership.

Now I turn to you: tell us about your “first time.” Was it easy? What have you experienced? How did this happen?

Mia